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Huge Deal: $4 for 600g Creatine Monohydrate

Get it while it’s hot!

$4 for 600g Creatine Monohydrate w/ Free 2-day shipping.

And remember to take two scoops.  You’re welcome.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

 
2 notes

Posted at 7:07pm
Tagged Supplements Creatine

 


Artisanal Fitness is a Thing, and It Is Infuriating.

Pardon my French, but what the fuck is “Artis Anal Fitness?”  I assume that the clubs this hippy is holding are the “Artises” and that he puts them up his ass?  Is that how this new workout fad works?

The billboard you see above is for a new health club in San Francisco, CA called Perform For Life.  And, based on this picture from their website, I don’t think I am far off with my Artis-anal-plug theory:

The phrase “artisanal fitness” makes me think of one thing: hatred towards the person who thought it up.  So to the man on the billboard I say, “please put down the batons, pick up a barbell, and let us never utter the phrase ‘artisanal fitness’ again.”

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

 
3 notes

Posted at 4:55pm
Tagged WTF Fitness

 


New BroScienceLife: How To Get Hyped for The Gym

"Nothing prepares you for a lift like violent stretching and shoulder impingement."

I can’t say I am not guilty of this.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

 
2 notes

Posted at 5:10pm
Tagged Dom Mazzetti BroScienceLife BroScience

 


Ultra Music Festival 2014 Recap

Ultra Music Festival is a wonderful celebration of youthful exuberance, drugs, Miami, music, muscles, women, bead masks, and filthy, filthy beats.  This year was no exception.

The world’s greatest DJs converge on downtown Miami to put on a 3 day show of light and sound that would make most Europeans say, “meh, I’ve seen bigger.”

Here is the official Two Scoops recap of each day’s greatest performances.

Day 1.

Friday featured some huge artists: Tiesto, Eric Prydz, Kaskade, Diplo, Kill The Noise, and The Chainsmokers.  

Who was the best?  I don’t know; I was too drunk to remember.

Day 2.

Rolling too hard to remember.

Day 3.

Too high to remember.

Recap, DONE.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

 
2 notes

Posted at 6:39pm
Tagged UMF2014 Ultra Music Festival

 


How To Write A Letter to Your GF - by Dr. Dre

Dr. Dre has always been swole of mind and body.  He is what, 49 years old now? and the dude is jacked.  

Plus, he has been spitting the illest rhymes and dropping crazy huge beats since many of us were toddlers.  The Chronic 2001 pretty much shaped my childhood.  

And now, fellow Two Scoopers, we look to this visionary for guidance in a lost art.  The Art of Courtship Correspondence.  This letter was written by Dr. Dre to his girlfriend in 1995.  His use of pen on paper here really moves you.  Today, this would be replaced by a text that simply reads, “yo girl can a playa holla?”  This letter is a nostalgic relic to a more chivalrous era.  I guarantee that if you were to craft a handwritten letter like this to a woman in your life, she would be wet before she even undid the flap of the envelope.  

Observe, and learn from a master wordsmith:

Is there a man on this planet who could make the phrase, “wish I was up in that ass” sound more romantic?

Dr. Dre was a true master of his craft.  

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

 
16 notes

Posted at 4:09pm
Tagged Dr Dre

 


The Rock in Battle Armor

I apologize in advance if all of the testosterone in this picture broke your computer.

 
14 notes

Posted at 11:05pm
Tagged Dwayne Johnson The Rock

 


15 notes

Posted at 6:36pm

 


Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger Crush Stuff with His Tank

Arnold Schwarzenegger Tank

I watched this video 10 times in row, because it makes me cry.

Heh Heh… I don’t cry.  But I did watch this video on repeat.  Nothing and nobody inspires me more than Arnold - even old Arnold (assuming he can actually grow old and die).  

You can enter to win a trip to LA to ride around in Arnold’s tank and crush stuff at Omaze.com.  Good luck, you’ll have to compete with the 1,000 entries I have already submitted.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

 
9 notes

Posted at 5:26pm
Tagged Arnold Schwarzenegger

 


Tinder Bitches Trying to Fuck Up Your Friday Night

An actual conversation submitted by TwoScooper, Joey “Juice” Vigaroni.

 
8 notes

Posted at 9:33pm
Tagged Tinder Cardio

 


Man Nearly Completes Tranformation into Michelin Man

"All set for a coat of white body paint!"

 
5 notes

Posted at 9:30am
Tagged Synthol