No Lunks? WTF Did You Just Call Me Planet Fitness?

Planet Fitness at it again.  Discriminating left and right.  It has come to my attention that there is a “Lunk Alarm” installed at every Planet Fitness.  The Lunk Alarm “sounds whenever somebody grunts, drops weights, or judges.”  Then they kick you out.  

So you know that feeling you get when you are on your heavy day, and your rotator cuff feels like it is about to implode when you are trying to place your dumbbells on the ground after a set of DB Flat Bench?  Yeah that is why you drop weights.  Well Planet Fitness would rather your shoulder explode, than safely drop the weights.  And no grunting?  How the fuck am I suppose to pick up heavy things and put them down?  

Here is how they define Lunk:

Planet Fitness: “Lunk , n, [slang], One who Grunts, Drops Weights, or JUDGES” “Lunkhead, noun Slang a dull or stupid person; blockhead. 

 Also called lunk.

This means that Planet Fitness thinks that somebody who grunts or drops weights is a dull or stupid person.  Newsflash Planet Dickless, I am the loudest person at the gym and I am a fucking genius.  I don’t know how much more of this discriminatory, prejudiced stereotyping I can take.  And that is why I am officially declaring the first ever official War on Planet Fitness.  Ronnie Coleman is my 1st mate.  Dude probably sets off the Lunk Alarm just by driving by a Planet Fitness.

And oh yeah, Planet Fitness Hates Gays.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli


Posted at 12:00am
Tagged Planet Fitness