Why does The Rock do EVERYTHING better than small people? I don’t get it, how can one man be so proficient in every thing that he does? The Rock is so fucking hawesome (huge + awesome = hawesome), that The Hulk dressed up as him for Halloween. Dwayne J. also has a bodybuilding movie, Pain & Gain, premiering in April 2013 that will surely sweep at the Academy Awards (through judge intimidation). He can do no wrong.
Not to mention the fact that the average human would take months, maybe even years, to grow facial hair this robust. Yet, The Rock exudes so much excess testosterone, that he single-handedly defeated prostate cancer with nothing more than his Movember Moustache.
Now go support your comrades’ faces at Movember.com.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli