That isn’t how you do it kid. I’ll tell you what your problem is, and it isn’t that you are barely breaking your left elbow while simultaneously bouncing the bar off your right pec (if you can call it a pec) in an effort to demonstrate some of the absolute most disgusting benching technique ever filmed, it is that your arms are fucking tiny. How do you expect to press anything when you are rockin’ anorexic triceps? Here is my advice to you, and every scrawny bitch that has the oh-wait-being-skinny-isn’t-and-never-was-cool epiphany and tries to bust into the gym and bench 205lbs with 13 inch arms:
Don’t try to impress anybody with free-weights when the only thing you’ve curled in the last 2 years is an X-Box controller.
…Or else you’ll end up looking like this asshole. Stick to BodyPump classes, Yoga, and push-ups in your living room until your body composition isn’t entirely epidermis and bone marrow. 3% bodyfat is sweet, but not when you are 0% muscle.
Get back to your computer, minimize World of Warcraft for 2 seconds and email me, [email protected] for some personal training tips. I charge $60/hour (My rate is directly proportional to the size of the dumbbells I curl so hurry cause my rates are about to go up).
-Tony “Two Scoop” Muscoli
