RSS
 

8 Tips for Raising a Stronger Child

Tiny Scoops

A miracle of life at 1am this morning, Two Scoops’ youngest fan was born. In celebration, here are some tips on raising a Tiny Two Scooper. Don’t forget to send in your kid’s progress pics.

8 Tips for Raising a Tiny Two Scooper:

  1. Whey protein blends very well with Gerber’s baby food.
    Studies have shown that infants like the taste of ‘Extreme Vanilla’ the most.
  2. It is a long standing rumor that weight training for children and adolescents will stunt there growth. FALSE. Here is proof: http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;121/4/835
  3. If they can crawl, they can do push-ups.
  4. Add weighted tape to your child’s toys to increase resistance during playtime.
  5. Babies are most apt to engage in physical exercise right before feeding. Once you feed them, they will nap.
  6. Get the little guy walking sooner by incorporating leg presses into his daily diaper changing routine.
  7. If you thought NO-Xplode made YOU poop, try it on a baby.
  8. The Ferber Method is outdated. Try The Muscoli Method, a technique invented 30 seconds ago by Tony Muscoli to solve infant angst. It involves “baby-training” children to self-soothe by teaching the child to perform a predetermined amount of push-ups before receiving external comfort.


The Muscoli Method can have your kid looking like this freak of nature in no time!

    -Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

     
    1 note

    Posted at 11:34am
    Tagged Raising A Child

     


    Notes

    1. twoscoopsgethuge posted this