Here at Two Scoops, we lift for one reason and one reason only:
Pure, unadulterated strength.
that gives us the power to lift heavy things…
so we can grow big muscles…
so that we can impress women.
Not every guy has the motivation, focus, and the idiot savant-esque knowledge of supplements needed to sculpt their bodies like a Two Scooper. These poor souls resort to using their “personality” to acquire females, which I find fascinating.
The latest tactic amongst common men is to quote Carly Rae Jepsen on a business card. This is a motion to present evidence to the female recipient that the man handing her this card is funny, witty, original, and in-tune with feminine pop culture.
Don’t get me wrong, it is hard NOT to love that song, but unless you were the first person to do this, you are treading on some thin ice. I can see it now:
You are all excited that you just got your box of 500 Carly Rae Jepsen business cards, you got on a fresh new striped shirt, you are ready to crush the ladies this Saturday night! Then the first girl you hand this card to responds with, “yea, thanks but no thanks. This is the second one of these I’ve got tonight.”
Beautiful, the rejection would be palpable. Then a Two Scooper can swoop in and woo that bitch with biceps, not unoriginality. And don’t go screaming, “but Tony, big biceps are even more cliche!” FALSE.
Big biceps are fucking evolution. Having big biceps to attract ladies isn’t unoriginal, it is Darwinism. Natural selection. Pump up, or get out. Only the strong survive, not the mildly clever:
Yea guys… original.
-Tony “This Is Crazy” Muscoli
