I am going to tell you a little story about Force Factor. I signed up for a free sample bottle to check it out. Then, obviously, they sent me a full size bottle the next month and charged my credit card $80. I should have seen that coming… fool me once.
Anyway, I read the return policy very carefully, because I am poor as shit and can’t afford to be spending GNC prices on supplements. Turns out, I can return the bottle, with the bottle partially or fully emptied, and they will give you a full refund. Naturally, I emptied the bottle, all $80 worth, into a ziploc bag and sent the empty bottle back to Force Factor. Within a week my credit card was refunded all $80. Losers.
Now, as acceptable collateral damage, I get SPAM from them on the reg. Their latest email had somebull shit quote like:
"Force Factor is the absolute best product to hit the market in years" - BJ Penn.
I call ’horseshit.’ I click the link, read the landing page and laugh - out loud. Seriously, if you know anything about supplements, go read their sales pitch because it is HILARIOUS. Let me give you a summary:
"Blah blah blah Force Factor is the greatest thing ever I can’t believe nobody thought of this before!"
Except they have thought of it before:
Force Factor is just an L-Arginine supplement. Just like all the products above. The best part of Force Factor’s ingenius marketing cat shit? This comparison chart:
All this fucking chart established was that Force Factor is A) not a protein powder and B) a gayer version of NO-Xplode. Why on earth would you advertise the fact that your product doesn’t have Caffeine and Creatine? Caffeine and Creatine are the two most researched, most proven, and most(ly) legal athletic performance enhancing supplements on the market. I don’t know about you, but I want more shit in my workout supplement, not less. Here is a more appropriate chart that I made:
STFU Force Factor. I am wise to your weak ass marketing plan. Don’t make me go Planet Fitness on your ass.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
