This movie is going to be a waste of time. The only reason the first ones were cool were because of Huge Jackman. Now they got all these little tweens running around trying to act badass. Hint: Little kids aren’t badass. Are they just trying to capture a new target audience? Probably should have just called it Spy Kids 5; it would probably have the same turn out. Who really wants to go see a bunch of kids running around with super powers? Probably hipsters and nerds who still read comic books in their parents’ attic… with a flashlight… underneath a fort of cardboard boxes they call the Death Star… while masturbating… to pictures of Hermoine Granger.
Let’s compare.
X-Men:
Huge Jackman. Badass. I’d watch this movie.
VS.
X-Children:
Hey buddy, I blow hot air all day, you don’t see me trying to make a movie out of it.
Put Wolverine and Beast and Juggernaut in a movie and i’ll watch it. Big dudes getting in big fights, sometimes with hot mutant chicks? I’m fucking in. Get rid of the pre-teen bullshit and show me some big titties and some big fighting!
Big Titties.
Big fighting.
But yeah Banshee is cool too? 
And by cool I mean gay.
-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
