Two Scoops. Get Huge.

Why does The Rock do EVERYTHING better than small people? I don’t get it, how can one man be so proficient in every thing that he does? The Rock is so fucking hawesome (huge + awesome = hawesome), that The Hulk dressed up as him for Halloween. Dwayne J. also has a bodybuilding movie, Pain & Gain, premiering in April 2013 that will surely sweep at the Academy Awards (through judge intimidation). He can do no wrong.

Not to mention the fact that the average human would take months, maybe even years, to grow facial hair this robust. Yet, The Rock exudes so much excess testosterone, that he single-handedly defeated prostate cancer with nothing more than his Movember Moustache.

Now go support your comrades’ faces at Movember.com.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

Holy shit, look at The Hulk’s costume! He looks EXACTLY like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Spot on bro. I wonder if Bruce Banner thought of it, or if he became the Hulk, and then decided he wanted to dress up as somebody bigger than him…

Yesterday, on Halloween, Dwayne Johnson tweeted this picture of himself as The Hulk. I now know what I need to get for next year’s costume:

"The Hulk" Halloween Costume Checklist:

1. Black haired wig
2. Old pair of jeans
3. Green body paint
4. 30 more pounds of muscle

.

Time to begin bulking for next Halloween I guess. BRING ME ANOTHER TWO SCOOPS!

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

Ain’t It Cool News - Pair Mark Wahlberg and The Rock up as a couple of idiot bodybuilders in Miami who get caught up in extortion and kidnapping that goes all bad, and what do you get? What is most likely Michael Bay’s cheapest film to date.

Holy. Fucking. Boner. I’ve never waited in a line to see a movie premier ever. I just don’t care enough. I’ll wait a week or two until the crowds die down and go and see it when I don’t have to waste my time sharing my armrests with movie buffs and comic book nerds. But, on April 26th, 2013, Tony Muscoli will be first-in-fucking-line at AMC to see this movie.

This explains all those awesome pictures we’ve seen recently of Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson hitting the gym together!

• There was Mark Wahlberg in awesome pants:
  
• The Rock flexing outside his gym.
• The Rock flexing inside his gym.
• Mark and Dwayne in matching tank tops.
• The Mark and Dwayne ‘Gym is Closed’ Meme.
• Dwayne Johnson looking just straight enormous.

.

Haters are gonna hate on this movie, Two Scoopers are beat up the haters, watch the movie, and then buy the Limited Edition Extended Version DVD Box Set of Pain & Gain - twice.

Is 7 months prior too early to reserve my tickets on Fandango?

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

Thanks to Walter K. for the tip.

A few months ago, we posted our thoughts about the recent additions The Rock has made to his musculature in Rock Hard Right Now. Well if that post didn’t confirm your suspicions that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is now a fucking monster, than maybe this picture will.

Proof that The Rock is Yolked:

Notice how, in the picture on the left, he is wearing some kind of watch/wristband on each of his wrists. However, in the picture on the right, the wristbling is nowhere to be found. That is because The Rock got so huge that his wristbands exploded off of his arm.

There are a few things you can’t get bigger with lifting and diet alone: your dick, your dome, and your joints. I’ve had people ask me, “Tony, I have small wrists, how can I get them bigger?” and the answer is, ‘you can’t.’ It is a fact of nature.

Yet somehow, The Rock did it. The Rock got so huge, it made his wrists huger, and his jewelry shattered. That makes sense too, because only a scrawny version of The Most Electrifying Man in Entertainment would need accessories to be electric. Now he does it on pure-fucking-size.

I mean look at that picture, his neck fucking disappeared.

Not to mention, his actual face looks bigger. It looks like his dome went straight Barry Bonds. I wouldn’t be surprised if his kegel regiment made his dick bigger too.

Rock on Dwayne, Rock on.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

P.S. Dwayne, if you ever read this, I must know your supplement stack. What are you ON man? Quit holding out on your man Tony!

Has Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Put on More Size?

My colleague Tony’s recent bro-gasm onto the small of Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson’s back struck up debate within the Two Scoops offices:

Discussion: Has Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson put on more size?

Answer: You bet your fucking ass he did.

I’m sure most of you TwoScoopers are asking yourselves… But T and J, how can such a monster of a man… The People’s Champ… THE Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment… The Tooth Fairy.. get MORE huger? I’m glad you asked, because the answer is quite simple really:

ATTITUDE.

Look at that attitude, and by attitude, I mean biceps.

The man, standing at 6’5, roughly 260lbs decided to lose the cocky smile and clean-cut hair, and replace it all with no-fucking-nonsense. He woke up one day, looked in his million dollar mirror and said, “No more Tooth Fairy. No more The Game Plan. I’m going to accept this role in Fast Five, shave my head, grow a badass goatee, put on another 50 lbs of muscle, and go make Vin Diesel look like a 12-year-old getting his first sack hair.

"Hey Mr. Diesel, I’m coming for your scrawny ass!"

"Don’t pout Vin, it’s not your fault I am massive."

Moral of the story Two Scoopers: Boots-to-Asses. There is no such thing as “Too Huge.”

-Joey “Juice” Vigaroni