I’ll be honest, I respect what Tony Horton has created with the P90x series. Tony2 has made an incredibly successful workout DVD series. The worst part is that it works. I’ve watched a couple of the DVDs, even done the workouts. They are good workouts; they got my heart going. I broke a sweat and when I was done I felt like I had completed a decent home workout – especially considering the majority of my home workouts consist of little more than 200 pushups and a protein shake. However, the respect I have for the business and fitness side of P90x does not transfer into the weight room.
P90x was made for idiots. It was made for the masses, not The Massives. We here at Two Scoops are, by every piece of ideology that is “Two Scoops”, the Massives. We are not complacent with a “biceps in a box” DVD set that tells us exactly what to do. I am not a fucking robot. If I wanted to be told exactly what to do for the next 90 days, I would get myself a girlfriend. FUCK THAT.
I am trying to crush weight and crush vag, and P90x will not do that. Here is why:
Why P90X Doesn’t Work
P90x gets you fit. Like I said, I have actually done some of the P90x workouts and they get your heart going. If you are like 90% of the population who has no fucking idea what to do when you walk into a gym, then by-all-means throw your money at P90x and hope it sticks.
P90X is like a gateway workout, it will get you in shape, but it won’t get you huge.
Like if you smoke some weed, sure you will get a little stoned, but you won’t SEE shit. You are going to have to do hard drugs for that.
Or like a pinky in the ass to test out anal, it’ll give her a good idea, but it won’t get you the results you want.
Same with P90X. Maybe you drop a few pounds, maybe your abs start showing, Hell, maybe you even put on a little muscle if you really work. Now you are looking good, you are feeling good. Good for you. Pat yourself on the back.
Now you should have your confidence up and you can head to a real gym, ready to impress all the fatties walking around. But when you finally decide to work out like an adult, and not some home-schooled loser, your worst fears will come true: you will find yourself to be… AVERAGE.
The guy in the picture above looks AVERAGE. His “Day 90” is how I would look if, for two months, I stopped eating food and started doing blow. Anybody can pop a DVD in and follow it word-for-word. If you can’t, then you have no willpower and I can’t respect you. Anybody can eat one less pint of Ben & Jerry’s a week and get some abs. Anybody can be average.
Not Tony Muscoli. Not here, not now. No Two Scooper should strive to be average, NOT ON MY WATCH!
Tell me, would you rather look like “Day 90” above, or this guy:
IFBB Pro Wong Hong
If you answered “Day 90,” could you kindly email me your IP address so I can block it from ever accessing TwoScoopsGetHuge.com again.
Tell me this, how the fuck do you expect to be anything but average, when the heaviest weights you move in P90x are fucking 45lb dumbbells? I watch girls at my gym press 45lb dumbbells. GIRLS! I mean, FUCK MAN, are you trying to lift like a girl!? No, no you are not.
"Ain’t no 45lb dumbbells gonna give you a 50 inch chest."
Are you ready to stop being a P90 Pussy now? Are you ready to be better than average? Are you ready to stop looking like you work out in your fucking living room and start looking like a guy who knows what a fucking Squat Rack looks like? Do you want to walk into a bar and have chicks grab your dick while their friend Instagrams your Biceps? Are you ready to be a real man; are you ready to get huge? Because getting huge takes more than just an instructional DVD.
Getting huge takes two scoops of time, dedication, motivation, creativity, calories, and
BIG FUCKING WEIGHTS.
Let me know when you are ready to join the big leagues.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
