Its no secret, I only lift my arms. Your probably thinking to yourself, “wow this guy is completely and utterly brilliant.” I know, I’m a fucking genius. If you are reading this, you better not disagree with me when I say that there is no reason to lift anything else. If you are a skeptic, finish reading my irrefutable logic, get the fuck off this site, and go drink an Odwalla you stupid dick fart.
Ok, back to business, and by business I mean bicep curls. Why you should only lift arms:
Reason 1) A massive arm never looks not cool. Pretty much everything you do makes you look tough and attractive to sluts. For example, picking up your backpack at the end of class and tossing in a little flex for the cute freshman slam pig sitting next to you… POW!
Reason 2) When you borrow your friend’s T-shirt, you stretch out the arms so much, your friend will have no other option but to relinquish it to you because you custom tailored it to fit a man.
Reason 3) As long as you stand sideways, people think your huge. You are standing around, chatting up with some babes on the beach, and some super-fit fuckhole is jogging down the beach. She gets the profile shot, what is staring her in the face? BICEPS. All she can think is: “fuck. that is a big arm. So huge. So awesome. GIMME HIS BALLS.” And give them to her you will. That happened. For real. Take it from me, I am awesome, and I only lift my arms.
-Brent “The Preacher” Curls
Tony Alverez submitted this to 
