Most people would see this man at the gym and see a guy on bath salts wearing athletic shorts. I see a fitness prodigy.
Let’s break down this PCP addict’s workout routine into his most effective and groundbreaking maneuvers:
The Intensest Russian Muscle Confusion Workout
1) The Arm-Assisted Spread Eagle Sit-Up.
This critical ab-blasting move engages the abdominal muscles by not actually engaging them at all.
2) Inverted Turkish Spaghetti Legs
Inverted Turkish Spaghetti Legs are great for loosening up the hip flexors, and causing irreparable vertebrae damage.
3) Lying Full Machine Tricep Press
What do you lift when you can rack the machine? You lift the whole machine. This guy is an innovator.
4) Reverse Lunging Self-Cockpunch
The Reverse Lunging Self-Cockpunch really separates the men from the boys. You used to see this move a lot in the late 1980s in NorthSouthern Iraq. It takes balls of steel to hammer out the last few reps.
Hopefully you can take away from this articlesome valuable new moves to add to your workout routines.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
