"If You’ve Ever Stepped On An Elliptical, This Is Not For You.”
I was reading an article on How Bicep Curls Cure Cancer when I saw the above banner advertisement on the side bar.
This is Manly Advertising
This ad is fucking golden; Grade A, feel-bad-about-being-a-sack-of-shit-and-do-something-manly—-also-boobs, advertising.
I dig this shit. It sends the message: fuck cardio, fuck machines, straight power lifts all day and you will get big-titty bitches smiling at you all day.
This is a stationary ad too, meaning it doesn’t rotate in based on my internet history. I know this because I saw it even after I cleared my Google history of porn, supplement shopping pages, and how-to guides for cutting sleeves to a microscopic strap level. So that means that the judgmental jabronies serving this ad are calling out EVERYONE and seeing who’s up for the challenge.
Obviously I had to click on the ad, and I was supremely disappointed by the actual product. It turns out the advertisement is for some bullshit, weightloss diet plan… so there’s that, but the point is: it got me to click.
And that’s how you advertise: Big boobs and bullying. Take Heather for example, I don’t think she is actually selling anything, but I want to buy it:
Just don’t get distracted by the right boob being higher than her left.
-Joey “Juice” Vigaroni
PS. Where do I need to go to work out next to chicks in there panties?
Get me there yesterday.
