Carla Gutierrez tanning. The contrast is striking. I really like how the sunlight reflects off of her well-oiled boob striations and adds a soft glow to the underexposed midsections of the fat, old people sitting in the background.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
"If You’ve Ever Stepped On An Elliptical, This Is Not For You.”
I was reading an article on How Bicep Curls Cure Cancer when I saw the above banner advertisement on the side bar.
This ad is fucking golden; Grade A, feel-bad-about-being-a-sack-of-shit-and-do-something-manly—-also-boobs, advertising.
I dig this shit. It sends the message: fuck cardio, fuck machines, straight power lifts all day and you will get big-titty bitches smiling at you all day.
This is a stationary ad too, meaning it doesn’t rotate in based on my internet history. I know this because I saw it even after I cleared my Google history of porn, supplement shopping pages, and how-to guides for cutting sleeves to a microscopic strap level. So that means that the judgmental jabronies serving this ad are calling out EVERYONE and seeing who’s up for the challenge.
Obviously I had to click on the ad, and I was supremely disappointed by the actual product. It turns out the advertisement is for some bullshit, weightloss diet plan… so there’s that, but the point is: it got me to click.
And that’s how you advertise: Big boobs and bullying. Take Heather for example, I don’t think she is actually selling anything, but I want to buy it:
Just don’t get distracted by the right boob being higher than her left.
-Joey “Juice” Vigaroni
PS. Where do I need to go to work out next to chicks in there panties?
Get me there yesterday.
But I have to ask, what fucking exercise are you doing there honey? An alternating grip EZ-bar curl? Sorry, but I don’t think that is a real thing. It looks like she is training to handle elephant cock.
Hey sweetheart, if you ever need somebody to snuggle in behind you and show you proper curling technique, you call your man Tony here. Capiche?
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
(Source: dedicationtolife)
I made my favorite Arnold picture into a motivational poster. Put that shit on your wall above your bed.
This is just… amazing. I want this as a poster.
See Gina Trochiano. See Gina train shoulders. See Gina make eye contact with you while she is doing Cable Front Raises. Pop a fear boner while simultaneously throwing up in your mouth.
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Yet another good example of when striated shoulders and cleavage just don’t mix.
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Please don’t kill me.
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-Tony “Too Disturbed” Muscoli
I fucking love the Facts And Chicks blog, but the “Facts” part has recently come into question as it appears the facts aren’t necessarily “factual”, which kind of kills my boner.
Consider these awesome boobs:
Yeah, great boobs. If you managed to find the “fact” somewhere in that photo, then you are led to believe that Congress recently passed the bill that would declare pizza a vegetable because it has tomatoes. False.
Washington Post - No, Congress did not declare pizza a vegetable.
Pizza isn’t a fucking vegetable. I know this because I don’t eat vegetables, but I eat pizza.
I like you FactsAndChicks.com, I do. I follow you because I love hot chicks and occasionally it gives me something to write about here, but either get your “facts” straight or change the name of the blog to www.RandomSentencesAndChicks.com.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
P.S. The chick in the picture is Gemma Merna. You’re welcome.
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