Two Scoops. Get Huge.

You know what is hotter than a hot Asian girl? A hot Asian girl with boobs, and for some odd reason, Canada seems to have all of them.

Try it, Google “Asian fitness model.” Every single hot Asian female fitness model/figure competitor is from fucking Canada. I thought only white people and polar bears lived in Canada. Is America doing something wrong? I mean, we have Tila Tequila, but I can’t really be sure she is even human.

Don’t believe me?

Karen Pang

Fitness Competitor from Vancouver, BC.

Height: 5’ 2”
Weight: 107 lbs
Bust: 34”
Waist: 23”
Hips: 35”
Cup: C

Belinda Kim

Fitness Competitor from Toronto, Ontario (born in Edmonton, Alberta).

Cup: C

Enjoy the overly dramatic music of Belinda’s promo video:

Valerie Ross

Fitness Competitor from Edmonton, Alberta (born in Singapore).

Height: 5’ 4”
Weight: 124 lbs
Bust: 34”
Waist: 25”
Hips: 34”
Cup: D

God damn it Canada. Stop being so selfish. SHARE.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

I remember that bra from somewhere…

Girl, the back of yo head is RIDICULOUS!

We posted about these girls last week (World Class Iceland Babes), but I still have no idea what is going on.

The title of this video is Pósunámskeið, and I haven’t a clue what that translates to in English. I can’t read anything on the Iceland Fitness website because it is all in, ironically enough, Icelandic. I don’t know what these videos are advertising and I really don’t care. Whatever it is, I’ll buy it.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

In an attempt to stay informed/find new material/have pictures of chicks show up on my computer screen, I follow a number of blogs regarding women’s fitness. It can be real hit or miss. The line between a gorgeous body and a gross body is blurred in ways I hadn’t previously thought possible. Check out this chick for example:

You can dig that right? But then I’ll get sent pictures like the one below with a caption like, “nice abs!” And I’m sitting there thinking, “whaddafuckahyatalkginabow?” Nothing is attractive about a women with ab veins. NOTHING. As is, this girl’s face is in need of assistance. Like, she is on her way to being an acceptable member of my B list if she could get a body to match, but I could just never look up too see a set of abs like that and not choke on my own vomit.

So I think I’ll try and post one of these every once in a while and let you decide, are these fitness chicks sexy or scary? Do you make her turn around, or do you turn and run? Do you feed her fresh fruit off the vine, or do you check for an Adam’s apple? Does she give you head, or does she give you a spot? Hammer her, or Hammer Curls? Deep throat, or deep squats? Bent over a table, or bent-over rows?

You get the point.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

Nanda Croft - Brazilian Fitness Model (NSFW-ish)

Where are you guys? I can’t see anything my eyes are bleeding so badly. I am so confused I don’t know what to do with myself. Like, should I have a boner? Her body says “Yes,” but her face says “I’m a gargoyle.” Should I be horny or horrified? Should I take a shower? What would happen if that chick cornered you at a party and said, “we are going to fuck now.” Can you even say no? I don’t think you can. I think she just has her way with you and there is nothing you can do about it. She is like a real life Xenia Onatopp, except for the part where her face looks kinda like a dude’s. And when you are banging, she is most definitely behind on top of you and you can probably smell the testosterone overpowering her Old Spice. I feel like I just found out that Einhorn is a man.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli