I don’t get it. This nice man in the tank top is concerned about the quality of his fellow gym goers workout, and this scrawny tightass can’t even respond coherently.
What is so hard to understand about this bro’s question? DID YOU, OR DID NOT YOU, GET YOUR BURN ON you pastey little cardio turd?
I hate Planet Fitness so much. These commercials dehumanize meatheads to the point where I can’t throw up the Front Double Biceps salute to a random stranger in a park without fear of ridicule.
The United States of Freedom made great strides for human rights when the Supreme Court struck down DOMA. But we need to take it one step further, and gain support for a new DOMA (Defense of Meatheads Act), which you can be sure Planet Fitness will fight every step of the way.
Once my boner went away and I was able to think clearly, all I was able to gather from this commercial is that, Planet Fatness doesn’t allow hot girls at their gym “that isn’t a gym" and that you have to be average looking or uglier to join.
Not that you needed them, but now you have even more reasons to NEVER go to a Planet Fitness.
I’m hot and you will never see me at a Planet Fitness because it sucks.
Fuck Planet Fitness, and fuck those titties. That’s an order.
Effective October 1st, absolutely NO deadlifting will be allowed, per Planet Fitness corporate regulations.
What’s next Planet Fitness? "NO Weightlifting will be allowed, ONLY Cardio." I think I just vomited, a lot, onto my keyword, at the thought of a place like that. I bet all the walls and equipment would be colored something really fruity like yellow and purple. Come to think of it, a place that didn’t have free weights, was decorated like a Chucky Cheese ball pit, and whose clientele consisted entirely of fat girls and scrawny guys, would look a lot like a fucking PLANET FITNESS.
If you haven’t cancelled your Planet Fitness membership yet, get off this site. I don’t even want you here. I don’t. I’m not even going to apologize for it.
I don’t care how convenient the location is for you, what’s the point if Planet Fitness doesn’t even let you pick things up and put them down?
Planet Fitness is at it again, and this has to be my favorite commercial so far. The girl is hot. The guy is hilarious. That shirt is fucking incredible. And the line, “Hey did somebody lose a washboard?" is golden.
"Hey did somebody lose a washboard? Because I found one over here. I’m just joking, it’s my abs."
Planet Fitness may say, “don’t be this guy." TwoScoops says, "be this guy.”
And can somebody please GET ME THAT SHIRT?! It would go great with my zebra pants.
Don’t get me wrong, I think this guy is an idiot. His ridiculous arguments are invalidated not only by their lack of substance, but also by his fucking incessant, unnecessary swearing about a bunch of goddamn bullshit, that he uses, unsuccessfully, to help him make a fucking point.
For those of you who don’t know, a Daily Show researcher contacted me for this story because she read about our War on Planet Fitness. Obviously I am not nearly as entertaining as this “Muscled American" so they went with him, but I am so fucking glad that Jon Stewart and The Daily Show brought The War on Planet Fitness to the national spotlight. This is huge. Massif. This probably won’t bring the Planet Fitness corporation to its knees, but it is a step in the right direction. I hope somebody cancels their membership because of this. In fact, if any Planet Fitness member is reading this and thinking of quitting, I want you to walk into the gym tomorrow, walk straight into the manager’s office, flex your pecs, and say:
P.S. Did the Planet Fitness lady liken her mission statement to Hitler’s? I’m pretty sure she did. Not even her level of blonde hotness can make up for that.
My Tough Mudder T-Shirt sucks. I was suppose to do Tough Mudder New England last weekend, but because my knee is a pussy, I couldn’t run with the rest of Team TwoScoopsGetHuge. I had a sweet pair of posing trunks to run in and everything. Well Team TwoScoopsGetHuge, the assholes that they are, brought me back this stupid fucking t-shirt:
I found her. The girl. The girl from the Planet Fitness Bang Bang Bang commercial. Her name is Sara Fletcher, and after scouring the internet for pictures of her, I am really not as into her as I used to be. Nothing special. She has the “girl next door" vibe, but huge dudes don’t settle for “the girl next door." We bang smokin’ hot babes at the club and rub it in little people’s faces like “hey man, you might have personality, but it doesn’t matter cause I have FAT biceps that would break your t-shirt sleeves in half. That is why you are with “the girl next door" and I am dance-floor dry humping “the girl you dream about." Suck it.
First of all, credit where credit is due: I found this video on BarstoolSports.com with the caption, “Planet Fitness being fucked as always." I love it when some of the bigger blogs get in on the Planet Fitness bashing. LOVE IT.
YouTube Video Description: I POSTED THIS SO SHOW WHAT CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED AT AGE 49. PLANET FITNESS DECIDED TO REVOKE MY MEMBERSHIP BECAUSE OF THIS. I EXPLAINED MY INTENTIONS WERE POSATIVE AND REMOVED THEM IMMEDIATLEY, THE LOCAL MANAGER EVEN SAID THAT ME AND RED WERE EXCELLENT MEMBERS, VERY POSATIVE AND NEVER A PROBLEM, BUT THE STILL REVOKED ME AND HER, EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. THE IPOD CAMERA WAS ON A STAND IN PLAIN SITE, NOBODY WAS IN THE LOCKER ROOM WHEN I SHOT THIS. THEY WERE UNABLE TO SHOW ME WHERE I BROKE ANY RULES WHEN I ASKED, WHICH THERE WERE NO RULES BROKEN. IF YOU AGREE THAT PLANET FITNESS WAS FAIR, PLEASE SELECT DISLIKE, IF YOU FEEL THEY WERE UNFAIR AND WENT TO FAR BY REVOKING ME WITH NO WARNING, PLEASE SELECT LIKE.
I diagnosed this immediately. Here is the problem, his flexing sucks. Maybe they wouldn’t have kicked him out if he could hit just ONE POSE correctly. For the record, I AM NOT taking Planet Fitness’ side. However, I am going to have to reprimand this guy for putting on a terrible show. I am all for flexing in the locker room. If you want to film it, fucking go for it, long as you don’t try to use that camera to get all candid with my junk. But if you are going to be a meathead in Planet Fitness, you better be ready to fucking bring it. You gotta represent! For example: Get your head up! Quads out, work up a semi-boner, and for the love of Arnold have a god damned abdominal muscle - just one, is that too much to ask? If you are going to flex in a Planet Fitness stall you have to show some confidence! Look at Jerome Ferguson on the right, head up, quads flexed, huge package, getting the party started.
Here the hand position is all off, in both. Planet Fitness dude just looks like he is shivering or something. Come on, this is the pose every kid starts practicing when they are 10. The guy on the right is moving in the right direction. Wrists are in position for maximum forearm pump but still not very symmetrical. What are we going for here? Perfection, and here it is: America! Fuck yeah. Traps for days. Even if he wasn’t famous, you think the Hulkster would have gotten kicked out of Planet Fitness? Abso-fucking-lutely. But he wouldn’t leave, and people would clap for him.
And then I need to address this pose because it confuses me so much: What the fuck are those T-Rex hands? Get rid of them! Maybe if you learned what to do with your hands they wouldn’t have to kick you out. Take notes: Excellent use of the gym beanie here as well.
My two cents? Learn to pose, then re-apply for a gym membership… anywhere BUT Planet Fitness.
Two Scoops. Get Huge. End of Story. You think you know how to be a meathead? Nope. You don't. You are small. You are weak. But we can help. So sit down, read up, and get ready for a hot beef injection.
