Two Scoops. Get Huge.

Look how amped this midget is! I can only hope I raise my son to be this beefy.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

Are you seeing what I am seeing?! Dat shit cray.

Now, I don’t want to be a nitpicker, but that is more of an Incline Bench Press that Flat Press. And I am having a hard time believing that that is actually an olympic bar with two 45ers on it. That being said, I am still impressed.

"New stunt. New stunt, new stunt!"

It takes a lot of coordination, balance, and core strength to pull off that move with even 50lbs, let alone 135lbs.

Also, that jacket is jacked. I assume it is a street riding jacket of some kind, and it is the coolest fucking one I’ve ever seen. Where can I cop that? That is the kind of jacket you buy, then you buy the bike to go with it. Badass.

Play on playa.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

Reader Email

Check out this supreme douchebag meathead.

Sincerely,
WTF

WTF is right. The hair, the creepy mustache, the tan, the shaved chest, the shirt. Is that shirt seriously cut that way, or did he make some customizations? Does it even have sleeves, or a front? Where do you even buy that? What do you call it, a deep U? Honestly, I am so fucking appalled I can’t even speak.

Appalled at myself for not thinking of this look sooner. All this time I’ve been sampling hair gels, oversized belt buckles, facial hair styles, and V-necks, trying to perfect the Ultimate Clubbing Look, and this guy has had it the whole fucking time.

He knows it too. He knows the real douchebags are the shlups standing around him. So he doesn’t give two shits about the camera guy. Look at everybody else, trying to be all cool in front of the camera. Not this guy. He knows he already looks cool, so he is just staring off past the camera, scoping chicks. Hound-dogging right up in your grill mix.

And while people all over the internet are calling this guy a “megadouche”, he is probably having a good laugh while he bangs some smokin’ hot babe. And not just regular hot, trashy hot. Bleach blonde hair, orange skin, 5-inch heels, hoop earrings, and a pair of ridiculous(ly awesome) fake boobs that would straight up knock you unconscious if you tried to motorboat them.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

I have literally nothing to say. This is too fucking awesome for words.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli