YouTube Description - MARYANA NAUMOVA, 13 years old, from russia benches 240 pounds RAW at the MHP power pitt at the 2013 Arnold Classic.
How much do you feel like a piece of shit right now? I don’t care if you are a 13 year old boy, a professional powerlifter, a collegiate athelete, or one of the 4 females that reads this website, watching a 13 year old girl bench 240 lbs will humble anybody.
I don’t think I was even benching 225 lbs until I was in college (much to my high school football coach’s dismay).
Looks like today will be a Chest day, you don’t really have a say in the matter.
- Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
P.S. Hey Maryana, when you turn 18 give me call. We will breed and make POWERBABIES.
"I am smiling because you are about to watch me do more curls in one set then you have done in your lifetime.”
Check out this guy curling in the squat rack! What an asshole! Anybody who knows anything about something knows The Two Scoops Rule of Curling in The Squat Rack:
Though shalt not curl in the squat rack, unless thoust is curling 135+ lbs.
They have little barbell bars in 10lb increments over by the dumbbells for weak people, so unless you reppin’ 135, stay out the cage bro.
So who does this guy think he is, stepping into the squat rack to curl a 40lb axle bar for 10 reps?… OK 15 reps… 20? 30 reps… Why isn’t he stopping? 40 reps sweet Jesus man slow down you are going to hurt yourself 50 REPS WTF?!?!
OK… the craziest workout I have ever seen in Muscle & Fitness was called the “Century Lift" where you did 100 reps of an exercise, this guy must be doing that right? I should cheer him on, “Light weight baby!" 97… 98… 99… 100. NICE WORK BRO!
You said your name was Derek Poundstone? Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still going… 130… 131… 132…
So you are one of the strongest men in the world you say? 167… 168… 169…
I take it your lack of response, and the fact that you just did 200 curls in a row, that you ARE one of the strongest men in the world? 201… 202… 203…
Should I come back later? 240… 241… 242…
You are a sick, sick asshole Poundstone, you know that? 288… 289… 290…
Do you feel the burn yet? 330… 331… 332…
Fuck you, Derek. 348… 349… 350.
Oh NOW you are done? Are you sure? Why not go for 400 reps, pussy. Thanks to you, some of us have been waiting in line for 10 minutes to use that cage you just monopolized. Was it really worth showing everyone in the world what a sick motherfucker you are? You make me want to go crawl into a hole and crasterbate for being so simultaneously turned on and humiliated from watching that video.
This has to be the most devastating thing you could possibly do to your arms. Complete and utter annihilation of the bicep. I’d be impressed if he could lift his shaker cup to his mouth after that set.
Poundstone Curls - Definition
pound·stōn kûrlz. Noun.
The act of taking an authentic Hattori Hanzo Samurai Sword and making a 6 inch incision down the middle of the Biceps Brachii muscle, before pulling the pin on a live M67 Hand Grenade, placing the grenade inside the incision, and then waiting for it to detonate.
The Bicep Apocalypse
One set of 350 Barbell Bicep Curls
.
I have to try this. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I assume this is Crossfit. Only Crossfitters have the gall to leave their fucking baby strapped to their chest whilst doing a clean and jerk.
Who is impressed by this? Certainly not the baby. I assume only his bat-shit crazy CrossFriends told him this would be cool, because any real friend would tell him: LEAVE YOUR BABY AT HOME. If you can’t afford day care, and you are afraid of your baby running around the weight room, put a stake in the ground and tie your baby up to it. It may sound inhumane, but it is still a better idea then having to wear a “Baby-on-Board" t-shirt while performing Olympic lifts.
Make Your Boy a Man:
If you want to instill the values of fitness upon your child, then you do it right. You put your baby in a bouncy chair, give him a shaker cup full of NitroTech and breast milk, and you make him watch you do Bicep Curls until he suckles down all 24oz of Grade A Whey. You combine this with positive reinforcement, and before you know it, your kid will bust out a few reps every time he picks a toy up off the ground.
Where most children see pumpkins, this mini-meathead sees Bent-Over Rows.
And if you are any good at parenting at all, your child’s toys will be barbells:
And that is how you make a boy into a man: Breast Milk and Bicep Curls.
I got a pair of straps with your name on ‘em. Here is a pic for you to J.O. to.
-James G. Guttershot
Everybody knows that Tony “Two Scoops" doesn’t cry, but I think I might be having an emotion right now. I don’t know what the precursor to crying is, because I have never cried, but I think that is what I am feeling right now:
I think this feeling is pride, for I have never been so proud to call myself Tony “Two Scoops" in my entire life. These straps even have American Flags on them! That is massively awesome - mawesome! God Bless America! It would nary surprise me if Ronnie Coleman himself had blessed these glorious tools of hypertrophy. I am sincerely proud of this James G. Guttershot, whomever he may be.
Now that I am done being emotional, my question is, where can I get some of these? Where can the rest of the Two Scoopers get some of these?
How fucking awesome would it be to do deadlifts with straps that said “Get Huge" on them? Then you look to the rack on your left, and there is a guy doing Barbell Rows with “Two Scoops" straps on, and you guys give each other HUGE high fives and everybody in the gym is jealous of how huge and awesome you are. Maybe you throw in a chest bump too? Perhaps even slap dicks together? I don’t judge.
Kroc Rows are, in a nutshell, really, REALLY INCREDIFUCKING HEAVY dumbbell rows for high reps, and they are named after powerlifter Matt Kroczaleski.
Matt was performing dumbbell rows for sets of 30 reps, no straps, with 150lb dumbbells, the heaviest dumbbells in his gym. He figured he had reached max level and decided to cut out dumbbell rows from his training to focus on new equipment.
A short while later, while preparing for USA Powerlifting Nationals, he noticed that the bar was slipping from his hands on all his heavy deadlifts. When he added dumbbell rows back into his training, he stopped having that problem.
From then on, Kroczaleski made dumbbell rows a dedicated part of his training regiment, and his quest to find the most ridiculously massif dumbbells ever began.
His quest was to perform 300lb rows for reps. Not suprisingly, one of the biggest challenges was finding dumbbells that heavy. Kroczaleski ended on a pair of 36" long double-threaded bolts that were actually used for anchoring large buildings. Did you read that? “USED FOR ANCHORING LARGE [FUCKING] BUILDINGS." Buildings, not dumbbells, but buildings. They were made from hardened steel and were long enough and strong enough to hold the amount of weight he needed. Matt had his brother, an ironworker, weld some inside collars onto the bolts, and he began working towards his 300lb goal.
He did it:
This, my Two Scooping Friends, is
Actual. Fucking. Beast Mode.
Even the name of the exercise is beastly; “Kroc" sounds prehistoric huge.
Next Back Day, when it is time to do rows, instead of “working on your form" with “slow, unilateral movements," grab the biggest piece of iron in the building, and get Krocing.
I hope this article has inspired you to put on a lion costume next time you do Kroc Rows and check out Matt’s article on T-Nation for the full story of his quest to build the biggest dumbbells known to man.
3News - This is a story about everything that’s good in sport.
It’s the story of the New Zealand weightlifting team, and of two men: Richie Patterson and Tevita Ngalu.
It’s the story of how one of those men, overcame incredible pain, to lift a weight no-one thought he could possibly lift, so the other man could go to the Olympics.
When people celebrate the Olympic spirit, it is stories like this one, that they have in mind.
Did you want to feel really good about life today? Because Tevita Ngalu just did one of the most noble things I have ever seen in sport.
I have cried once before in my life, when I watched Rudy drunk, but the gamesmanship, the comradeship, the courage, the Olympic effort, the nobility, the fortitude, the honor, the selflessness, and the sheer grit it took for Tevita to lift 157kg over his head without the use of his left leg is so fucking inspiring I started to tear up watching the video.
Believe it or not, Tony has feeling too, and this story was really tugging at my heartstrings. I am going to hug a random meathead when I get to the gym today.
Can we talk about this for a second? This beast of a man, Serge Redding, just pressed 502 lbs… that is insane. INSANE I TELL YOU!
Ask yourself this question, when was the last time you saw somebody put more than 4 plates on the bar for shoulder presses? If you answer is “never," then you are like the vast majority of the population. I mean, Good Ol’ Uncle Tony will occasionally throw 225+ lbs Push Presses into his shoulder routine to warm up, but that extra knee bend easily adds 40% to the lift. To put it in perspective, Serge just put five 45lb plates on either end of that Olympic bar. The fuck?
Just imagine holding 502 lbs overhead like Serge here - I can already hear your shoulder tendons exploding.
Serge was a champion. Even though this asshole Vasily beat his world record 5 minutes later with this 507 lb lift, I still give the credit to Serge because Vasily throws in a, what should have been disqualifying, knee bend:
Either way, if today is Shoulders, you should now be properly motivated to lift some heavy-ass weights.
Two Scoops. Get Huge. End of Story. You think you know how to be a meathead? Nope. You don't. You are small. You are weak. But we can help. So sit down, read up, and get ready for a hot beef injection.
